Top Ten Tuesdays: Consequences of a Long Weekend
What a weekend. Blurry memories and shifting morals are fogging the mind. All of the whiskey has long since been drank and there are vague strange pills and unknown garbage on the floor, now you’ve woken up surrounded by clinking bottles and an open copy of Mein Kampf, so what really happened this cruel weekend? To be sure it was fun, but will there be terrible and thunderous fallout? This week our Top Ten Tuesday is dedicated to consequences born of a long strange weekend.
Familial Interrogation
Yes, those blurry memories swirling back through the time fog are now taking concrete form just in time for Mother to be in your face as to why you showed up after three days with no pants and a puppy. Just wait until the rest of the family gets here, then the headache will only grow exponentially until it becomes an all consuming entity. Don’t forget to apologize to your Uncle for that mean-spirited email you sent him at 3 a.m.
Drug Addiction
Maybe things did go too far after all. Although unable to remember it, you now have an itch that you find yourself utterly unable to scratch. A certain feeling that is now inescapable, drawing you back towards a high. Congratulations, an addiction to a hard drug is now on your CV of emotional problems. Liqour is the true gateway drug.
Hangovers
There may be no cure for four straight days of shot gunning vodka through a tube while shirtless on a diving board. This hangover can feel terminal: unease grips the stomach, terrible thoughts grip the brain, a general soreness and desire to cry at the slightest noise. Welcome to the work week party people.
Missing salary
What happened? Surely you were paid the day before this weekend began. With cash in pocket, you set out confident for a light after work cocktail to celebrate the holiday. Now it is four days later, there are fifty lonely shillings jangling about your pocket. Soon, awareness about the purchases you made will haunt you for the next month. Enjoy the luminescent hula hoop and sovereign sports team wrist watch that struck your fancy after fourteen pints of foul smelling cocktails.
Questionable Sexual Choices
Who is this person blowing up your phone saying that you are soul mates? What are these dark rumours of sexual mischief with the sister of your brother-in-law? Somebody could be pregnant, but who? Try not to ignore weird burning sensations from below decks. Proceed with caution when entering the text message folder on your phone, there may be consequences.
Video Evidence
All those pictures will make for moments that will be treasured and remembered for ever. Even the one of you in a soaking wet cowboy hat and pink bathrobe throwing up into a convenience store refrigerator. There may surface videos of you reciting passages from the movie Sixteen Candles with tears streaming down your face and a bottle of vodka clutched in your sweaty fist.
Lost Items
How is it possible to lose underwear? These and other quandaries will knock around that hang over laden skull of yours while you search desperately for the hat that Grandma personally knitted for you. Remember to look inside of the coffee pot, a common container for key related memorabilia. Enjoy seeking out valuables you found important enough to hide throughout the course of ninety six hours.
Dishes
God forbid you were foolish enough to let the thirsty hordes descend upon your quiet suburban home. Now those terrible drunks decided to cook uji curry but mauled the effort, leaving an immovable crust across your kitchen. Dishes touch the ceiling bringing flies and monkeys, but those cruel alcoholics sensed trouble and moved on before daybreak, leaving you to sort through the muck.
Discord With The Community
There shouldn’t be a naked person asleep in the pool that is shared by the compound, but there is. Not only that, but several whole pizzas have been flung at windows and a fire has recently burned itself through your elderly neighbour’s petunia garden. Soon there will be a knock at the door, further emptying your already bare wallet.
Mystery Vehicular Injuries (Unexplained Car Damage)
Dents, bumps, jagged scratches and caked mud are the least of the automobile issues you can face after a weekend of professional grade strangeness. There is now no fender, and the license plate has crude drawings where there were once identifying symbols. Something smells from the back seat, but what could it be? It may be difficult to discover through the brambles, used condoms and forgotten legs of goat that now cover the floor.
Next time you have a long weekend, perhaps a quiet book and dinner with your great Aunt may serve your general health more positively.
