“Catching Feelings” and the Evolution of Feeling Nazism in Kenya

We are a society notorious for trivializing and ridiculing other people’s feelings, especially when these feelings make us uncomfortable. It plays out vividly on social media.

‘Stop catching feelings’, ‘You’ve got issues’ are two statements that are often used to tell people to magically snap out of whatever they might be going through.

At some point, the people ‘catching feelings’ are not able to deal with their situations anymore, and they then withdraw, self harm or take their lives. Then, we are ‘shocked’ it happened and the collective self-blame and public grieving begins. But what really is the genesis of this culture of attempting to stomp down on the feelings of those who feel more intensely than others?

We had a one-on-one with Kenya’s leading Mental Health Ambassador Sitawa Wafula founder of My Mind My Funk to shed some light.

UP: We are a society notorious for ridiculing people’s emotions, telling them to get a grip and snap out of it. How does this affect the mental health of the person being told this?

Sitawa: It makes the valid feelings and emotions of the people concerned seem invalid. If one is in an environment where their validity is constantly put to question, they start to doubt themselves and question what is wrong with them which in turn affects their esteem. They may start to withdraw socially which could lead to depression, cutting and even suicide.

UP: We often trivialize mental health conditions, even going as far as using them as adjectives. Like how we say this and that person is ‘bipolar’ or ‘ADHD’. Where does this habit come from?

Sitawa: In an African setting, mental health conditions are labelled as either western illnesses or illnesses for the rich. Those that then have these conditions are said to have imaginary afflictions, as these are not things that ‘real Africans’ go through. We can go through sad moments, that’s allowed, we can go through some grieving when we lose someone or something, that’s also allowed. But have depression, have anxiety disorders, that is not possible.

UP: In your experience, is there a link between the affected persons well-being and the negative or humiliating responses by others?

Sitawa: Most people do not link the two and that is why local psychologists have no clients. Most people think it is their fault that people respond negatively to them, so they suppress their emotions and fail to take them into consideration. This is so that they can please other. Unfortunately, it can lead to a downhill road of alcohol, drugs and even full blown manic or depressive episodes and illness, just because they did stop to understand how various situations affect them. As someone with a mental health condition, i am always on the look out for triggers, things that upset me or drive me up the wall and acknowledge the existence of the feeling and look for ways to deal with it before it deals with me.