Dating in the Digital Age
What Mobile Apps are Nairobi’s singletons using to get out and get it on ?
Ms. MaiKap Samtin, 37
I am a Tinder user. The way it works is you log-on and then start scrolling through different guys (or girls) as they pop up. If someone looks interesting or cute you “like” them. If they “like” you back then you can start chatting . I use Tinder because it’s an easy way to meet, chat, make friends and maybe more. I’ve never really used anything else before but don’t see why I should. Tinder is on your phone, it’s fast and easy and you don’t have to upload any complicated profiles, a picture in a flattering light is more than enough!
I’ve liked about thirty guys over the past month or so. Of these I’ve gone out on dates with ten guys. Of the ten guys I went out with, two it took a quick a coffee to realise we just didn’t click, four I had a nice chat with and we’ve stayed in touch and four I slept with. One of the four I fell in love with, but unfortuantely he doesn’t live in Nairobi so I’m not sure when I’ll see him again.
I think people mainly use Tinder for sex but there’s alot of people on there who have an “anything can happen” attitude. It’s different levels of interest. I was in the “anything can happen” club and never expected to fall in love. While I would say that you don’t have to be single to be on Tinder, in order to avoid anyone taking it the wrong way it’s probably best that you are!
Mr HunkyTallGuy, 28
The most popular gay dating and hookup apps in Nairobi are Grindr, Planet (Gay) Romeo and Gaydar. I use all three although I recently closed my Gay Romeo account.
The apps are all a bit different.Grindr is more about hookups and for “upper to middle class” gay men. It’s also good if you are travelling as it shows you the location of a person. Romeo is a complete mix of guys but you have to watch out as there are alot of scammers there too. There isalso a technological difference between them. Grindr is only available as an app on android and IOS, whole Romeo is both an app and a website. Gaydar is a mix of both but it’s a bit older and currently less popular.
I find that these apps can be loads of fun. I’ve met some awesome chaps and even had some serious relationships with the people I’ve met. I wouldn’t say it was dangerous, but I do know people who’ve ended up blackmailed or robbed. With me I have tried to play things safe, let someone close to me know where I was going and keep them updated. I’ve had guys misrepresent themselves to me but I always meet people in a public space and have an exit strategy in case I’m not comfortable. Some guys I know have found love on these apps and some have found great friends too. Ultimately it’s about where you’re at in that moment of your life.
HotKamapalan, 33
I am a Grindr user. I used to use Gaydar or Manhunt, but I found them to be too tedious and needy and there was alot of admin involved. Grindr is really accessible for someone who can afford a smartphone and it’s just like wattsapp: short profiles, little info. But what’s really important about Grindr is that it tells you how distant from you a user is. I find Grindr comes in handy because it’s hard to tell in your day-to-day life who is gay and who isn’t. It’s not exactly online dating, it feels more like on-thego dating. Obviously chances are you will be mainly chatting with upper middle class men but whether that’s good or bad is entirely up to you.
I’ve gone on a couple of good dates in Nairobi through Grindr. So far I find the Nigerian men here to be hypnotizing. However I feel that East Africans find it so hard to be spontaneous! I’ve had some bad dates too though; these have been mostly with foreigners who have sent me explicit pictures without sending me a picture of their face. I find it to be quite offputting to have chat to a guy’s member. Another problem is that the Nairobi Grindr scene can be quite small and I occasionally have to log off for a while before eventually giving in and downloading it again.
My dating life has become a lot busier since I started using this kind of app. All of a sudden it’s much easier to find dates and hookups. I’d say though that the best part is not just that your dating life is more active, but also that there are more opportunities to simply make friends with other gay men in this difficult society. I have definitely also made some good friends through the app.
NotAShyGuyNairobi, 29
I have not used any other dating apps prior to Tinder. A friend suggested it to me and showed me what it was about. It just looked fun and easy…swiping left or right across the screen depending on whether or not you like someone, seems pretty fun. I’m a pretty confident guy and have no trouble meeting girls in real life. I really just got the app for fun. Therefore, I haven’t been on any dates through the app. There’s just one or two girls I chat with and that’s about it. I’m just not so serious about the app. I wouldn’t mind maybe going for a very relaxed coffee but to go for a full-on date would be a bit too serious and I guess that’s just not what I’m looking for on Tinder. The app really hasn’t changed my dating life, because, as I said, I have no problems walking up to a girl and chatting. But I won’t bash it because it is a really fun tool!
