Who is more street?

Once in a while I catch the television segment Who Owns Kenya? A crude version of it is replayed here on the Street almost every single day. The Street version is not Who Owns Nairobi? But more like Who Is More Nairobi? The reasoning is this, just like citizens of a country enjoy some privileges as compared to non citizens, those who are “more Nairobi” should also enjoy some extra benefits by that virtue.

Such benefits, unlike those of citizens, are not clearly stipulated, but generally have to do with competition for clients. Not that girls sit down and discuss who is more Nairobi than others, it’s rather more manifested in their usage of statements which tend to be exclusive or imply ownership. The most common of the statements is always; “What do you know about Nairobi?” which is always said in a dismissive manner. A girl may drop such a line to intimidate another in order to win over a client.

The criteria for deciding who is “more Nairobi” is always an issue in the streets. There are those like Nini who feel they have more right to Nairobi because they were born and bred in the city. Nini will say things like “ Eh I was born here! There is nothing you can tell me about Nairobi.” She will throw this during an argument which is normally a polite way of saying “Back off! This is my territory.”

Then there are those like Cheupe who admit to being foreigners in Nairobi, but still claim more rights because they feel they have figured out the city - sometimes even better than those who were born in it. “We came and conquered” they tend to imply in sentences like; “ We understand the ways of Nairobi.”

And it is that understanding that has made them thrive in the city. Other girls use their place of residence as a measure of how Nairobi one is. Agnes is the master of this and will often say “I come from Kayole, what can you show me?” This might be directed at a girl from a lesser Nairobi section such as Westlands or Gachie.

Not having been born in Nairobi, I would claim to be more Nairobi on the basis of where I live; Pangani. But I find such a justification weak. Thus, when pushed to claim my Nairobiness I say I am more Nairobi because I can grab several of the city’s opportunities. “ There are other things I could do,” is my classical line at such times. Of course all the above measures of Nairobiness are debatable, and the winner is usually the one who is able to push his position in a convincing manner.

Ironically as much as we brag of being more Nairobi than others, none of us wants a client who is more Nairobi than us. Such clients will have understood our ways, meaning we may not have an upper hand when it comes to the amount we charge or any other of our trickery. There are hints which tell us how much of Nairobi a man is. It is all in the way he speaks, his composure as he picks a girl and the way he reacts to what we say. However at times we miss such hints.

The other day a man came to the Street and three of us surrounded his car. “ How much?” he asked no one in particular. “Ksh1,500,” Cheupe shouted . The man laughed then said “What for? I will pay Ksh500.” We all pulled back and started hurling insults at him. A week later, a man came by. When we surrounded him he didn’t ask how much we were charging, rather he remained silent then waved at me. Only when inside his car did I realize he was the same man we had insulted. We ended up spending an hour negotiating the price of a 30 minute session. Now, there was a man who was more Nairobi than I was, but I should have known; his rather relaxed look when picking me was a dead giveaway.

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